Whenever I wake up / Try and take the shape of / Turn into the whole wide world I made up
The lights are going off.
Okay, time for some bad news yesterday.
When I got home yesterday I could only find my mom there, and usually both my brother and my dad is there before me. So I asked where they were and my mom told me that my bro' had injured his knee again and that my dad had gone to pick him up. Although this was pretty bad news, it's not what I posted about this morning. Moving on, when dad got home with my brother he went upstairs (I was sitting at the computer) and told me that I had to come down because he had something to tell us. I assumed that it might have had something to do with my brother's knee, but I also started to think of all these other bad things that could've happened, just as a reaction to the sentence "We have something we need to talk to you about". So when I got down and we'd all assembled around the kitchen table my dad started the conversation with "I have some news that might seem a bit bad". This confirmed my notion on the news being bad, and my mind raced on to perhaps a million other conclusions of what the next words out of my dad's mouth might've been, but I wasn't at all prepared for what he told us. "You're mom and I are separated, and I've moved out of the house".
I was so surprised that I'm sure I couldn't have talked if someone had wanted me to right away. I just threw a quick glance at my dad and my mom before I went to staring at the kitchen-table in disbelief. I guess I felt sad, but I mellowed out after my mom and my dad took turns in talking about the situation. I think the whole conversation took about 10-15mins but it felt like an eternity. I guess the reason for the split was that my dad had walked around feeling this emptiness inside, or some kind of pain, and he needed this to happen. In the end I think it was my dad's decision to move out. My mom had walked around with a feeling that something wasn't right as well, but she'd automatically associated it with work. I think she took it a bit hard, but now that she's home with her sons it's taken a bit of the edge off it.
The worst part of the night was after dad had gone and I sat down to watch some TV with my mom. We were just watching this "Norwegian" show where they showed funny commercials and we were having a bit of a laugh. But then the lady hosting the show introduced a commercial something like this: "Isn't it good when your man tries to be spontaneous, to stop your relationship from going a bit dry". Could the timing
be any worse? And then later on, we watched another program, a political satire-show. Where they said something like"A pope comes and goes, but love lasts forever". Just in a more satirical manner. And there were probably more of those that I can't remember right now. It was downright excruciating sitting there.
When I woke up this morning, I felt like I had dealt with it all. Like I'd come to terms with it all. And that felt very weird. Nearly more weird than finding out my parents had separated. But I also feel like it's not my right to feel angry about this. That'd just be selfish of me. There's been no wrongs done (as far as I know), just my dad feeling empty, and to some extent my mom too. And I don't feel like throwing a hissy-fit and demand that they move back together just to make things as they were. I want them to feel well, and I hope they work things out whatever happens after this upcoming week and beyond.
A lot of fun this blog turned out to be, eh?
On a different note: I watched Garden State this Thursday, and it was fantastic. The humor was very cool, and the atmosphere was quite special. There was just one thing that gave me a weird feeling about that movie. And that was Zach Braff swearing. To hear him say "fuck" and "shit" was somehow... just weird.
And in the spirit of Garden State:
(Pretend that I'm standing on top of a large, yellow digging machine)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!The lights were going off.
